How to stop Screwing Yourself Over? The 5 second rule:
We all have amazing ideas! We all want to change but we won't! because we wait until we like it!
Guess what? You will never feel like you want to change!
You do the things you like doing! It's not a big deal. But the things you are complaining about? No way! You wait until you will feel like doing it!
The only way to get what you want is to parent yourself. Your job as a parent is to make your child do what they don't feel like doing so they can grow up and move forward. Of course they don't feel like cleaning their room! of course they don't feel like helping with the chores! of course they don't feel like doing their homework!
When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's the signal that one of your most essential needs are not being met: your need for exploration. Your soul needs exploration and the only way to do it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable, to get outside your head. If you listen to what you feel when it comes to what you want, you will never get it. Because you will never feel like it.
It's simple! It's not easy!
This feeling when you come back from work and you see the kitchen dirty and your kids are all in front of their screens? you have that thought: "I am gona leave them clean their mess, it's gona be a good lesson"...and your brain goes on auto-pilot and you load the dishwasher....(sigh)
When you are doing something different than the normal routine, your brain goes on emergency brake. Your brain will screw you over, your brain will go on autopilot, your brain will tell you he doesn't feel like doing all the work that it takes to have what you want. He will say "STOP! WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S CRAZY! NO WAY YOU CAN DO IT!"
Use the 5 second rule: from the moment that you have an idea, "I should ask my friend about that person he told me about last week, I should go to my contact list and invite 25 people to come to my event, I should ask my teacher about this essay due tomorrow, I should let them load the dishwasher"... you only have 5 seconds to take action ....otherwise, it's gone!
If you have an idea, if you don't marry it with an action within 5 seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. And the brain goes on auto-pilot!
So practice this 5 second rule today! If you have an impulse go for it!
Don't wait until the idea is gone. Walk to that person on the other side of the room that can help you, send that email to invite your friends to your event, ask for a 45 minute meeting for an interview.... and ask your kids to load the dishwasher!
Doing something about the idea doesn't mean you have to do big things. It can be as simple as send you a reminder on your phone to do it later or put it in your calendar... or put a note card on the fridge or walk to the person with your hand ready to shake...you will find what to say!
There are hundreds of books about motivation out there! I am not going to write another one but give you some keys about what works and what doesn't with teenagers.
Some people are temperamentally goal-oriented in a methodical way, people who can set an objective and work towards it in a diligent fashion. But this is not your teenager, or you would not be reading this newsletter. And those people are actually difficult to find!
What doesn't really work? (in other words, what are the things we all tried thinking will work? I have 4 teenagers, I've been there)
And now what works?