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How to Build Resilience in Children and Teens? The 7 Crucial C's

The 7 C's in practice: Few tips and things you can do right now!




Competence


Get out of their way! Let them figure things out for themselves. Brainstorm, but let them give ideas first then share yours!


Confidence


Confidence is rooted in Competence. Children can't gain genuine Confidence without experiencing their own Competence. They have to manage challenges to know they are able to succeed. Only then will they be truly Confident. Help them set reasonable expectations.

Connection

Human connection provides reassurance that we'll be OK despite tough times. We can be weak at times and let others care for us while we reenergize. To create connection help them understand what is Empathy! (trying to imagine what a situation feels like from another's perspective)


Character


Children learn character by the values you teach, your words of praise, or the way you correct them. They learn character by observing your values and behavior in daily interactions outside your home and watching how adults treat each other in your home.


Contribution


Parents and communities who ensure ample opportunities for children to contribute will build the next generation of leaders. The world could be a better place because they are in it! Let them contribute to their family by doing their fair share of chores!


Coping


Everyone has an individual style in response to challenge. Children don't have the benefit of having lived through difficult cycles yet and haven't adopt the "this too shall pass" protective beliefs that adults use to move on. Share with them how you cope with stress. Here is one exemple of stress management plan


Control


Children who learn inner control by making decisions and facing the consequences gradually become more independent and ultimately more resilient. Make boundaries acceptable! and let them know that a YES is a YES and a NO is a NO!


The power of resilience


No parents wishes any adversity to befall a child, but realistically we have to expect problems. We cannot raise totally invulnerable kids. Our goal must be to raise children who can handle the bumps and bruises that the world has in store. We need to prepare them to cope with difficult challenges and bounce back. We must help them find happiness even when things aren't going their way. We want them to develop deep, strong roots now so that their wings will carry them successfully and independently into the future.  Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances. Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks. Resilience is a mind-set. Resilient people see challenges as opportunities. Resilience is not invulnerability, not perfection, not isolation from all risk. Resilience is the trait that parents hope to develop in children so they will be equipped to  navigate a stressful, complicated world while relishing its abundant pleasures. Resilient people are more successful because they push their limits and learn from their mistakes.




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