Let's Talk About You!
Usually, December is the assessment's month of the year. We do a little check-up with our clients to say goodbye to the past year and to welcome the new one.
It would look like something such as:
what have you accomplished this year that you are most proud of?
what did you learn from this coaching? of this pandemic? from this year? (delete as appropriate)
what are the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year? For those you didn't reach, how did you manage not to reach them? (this one stings a bit but it's a moving question)
I still have a variety of them if you want...
Johari Window: one of the most powerful tool to talk about you!
To end the year on a high note, I would like to introduce you to the Johari model. One of the most powerful tools I know to better know thyself.
This model has been around for decades and was created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. They took the first letters of their first names to give the name of this model.
This model allows us to have a better knowledge of ourselves, to become aware of what we show to others and to do a little introspection to be more authentic.
We're talking about 4 squares or 4 windows, which is a great metaphor (4 windows from us to the world).
The 2 top windows: the open area and the blind area
On the lower windows: the hidden area and the unknown area.
Let's fill the model together
I invite you to reproduce the model at the top of this newsletter on a sheet of paper.
Let's start with the 1st window, the most visible: what we know about ourselves? What we show to the public? What others can see? We call it the public area, the open self area.
The sentence to describe it: I know, you know
Here are the visible parts of me: I am light brown, of average height, I wear glasses... Those who know me know that I play tennis, I am Catholic, quite sociable, I am not afraid to speak in public, I am a coach and I like to meet people. I am aware of all of this and I have no problem talking about it.
1st question: what would you put in this window for yourself? What parts of your personality are open to the public?
Write down your answers in the open self area.
The 2nd window, the hidden zone.
The sentence to describe it: I know but you don't.
We keep the information private. It is our secret garden. It can be the place of fears/difficulties/parts of your past that you don't want to talk about. It's also the place of dreams, projects, hopes that you don't want to reveal right away for fear of being criticized or having too much pressure.
The content of this window may change and become public at any given time.
2nd question: what is part of your hidden zone? What was part of this zone that you talk about more easily today?
Write down your answers in the hidden area window.
When I started coaching, I had a big fat saboteur whom I didn't talk about willingly. Talking about it more openly today allows me to tame it. It is still there but it is much less penalizing than before. I also have projects and a secret garden that I keep to myself for the moment!
The 3rd window, the blind zone.
The sentence to describe it: I don't know but you do.
There are things we don't realize about ourselves but others do and we need someone else to tell us. The information in this area can be positive or negative.
Perhaps you have already had comments or reactions from people close to you, pointing out something about your personality.
This is the area that can help you answer the question of a recruiter in an interview such as: "tell me about your strengths and weaknesses". You can then answer with "some say that I am..." or "they say about me...".
3rd question: have you ever realized something about yourself because someone pointed it out to you?
Write down your answers in the blind area.
My husband told me that when a representative calls I am not always friendly. It tickled me to the point that I wanted to change. On a more positive note, a friend of mine made me realize everything I had been doing since I moved to California.
The 4th window, the unknown zone.
The sentence to describe it: I don't know, you don't know.
Here are the informations that no one know yet that are ready to be discovered. It's all these new experiences that teach me something about myself that I didn't know before I had this new experience. Maybe you are learning a new tool, a new profession, reading books on a subject you didn't know, learning a new language... or maybe you want to in the near future.
4th question: have you ever had experiences that have taught you things about yourself? Moving to California taught me that I was adaptable, I liked sushis, cultural differences fascinate me...
5th bonus question for the holidays: if you were to leave one of your comfort zones today, what would you do? what would be different? what would you start?
Take a few moments to write down your answers in the unknown area.
I wish you happy holidays, even if they do not necessarily look like the holidays you would have liked and I will see you in January 2021 for a year full of promises.