Not skills or education - but Emotional Intelligence (EI)
"What determines the probable future career success of individuals? Is it intelligence, technical knowledge and skills, their socio-economic background or educational success? Are the forces that make success the same for Generations X and Y as they are for the Baby Boomers? These questions have been researched extensively by recruiters, talent management experts and human behaviour researchers in the past decade. The answers now point to emotional competencies". Read the full article here
So how can we raise emotionally intelligent child?
Here are 5 simple steps:
Be aware of a child's emotions
For parents to feel what their children are feeling, they must be aware of emotions, first in themselves and then in their kids.
Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
Negative experience can serve as superb opportunities to empathize, to build intimacy with our children and to teach them ways to handle their feelings.
Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings
Empathetic listeners use their eyes to watch for physical evidence of their children's emotions. They use their imaginations to see the situation from the child's perspective. They use their words to reflect back, in a noncritical way what they are hearing and to help their children label their emotions. But most importantly, they use their hearts to feel what their children are feeling.
Label emotions in words a child can understand
Providing specific words can help children transform an amorphous, scary, uncomfortable feeling into something definable, that has boundaries and is a normal part of everyday life.
Setting limits while helping the child problem-solve
This process can have as many as 5 steps, as well: Limit setting, identifying goals, thinking of possible solutions, evaluating proposed solutions based on your family's values and helping your child choose a solution.
More Resources
A good book to know more about Emotional Intelligence: Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence - Why it can matter more than IQ. The Groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be smart.Another book: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, the Heart of parenting John Gottman. You can also take a free test online to measure your EI. Take the test here