January is usually the month of change! But most of the new year's resolutions hold until.... february! We usually give up on 88% of those good resolution after a few weeks! Back to square one!
Find the good motivation
One of the first question you can ask yourself is: WHY? Why do you want to change? If it is to follow some rules, to be socially appropriate, for your partner, your kids, your parents....on the long run it will be difficult! To stay motivated on the long term you need:
Self-determination (to have the feeling that you choose, not people around you)
Expertise/Skill (the goal is doable)
Feel supported by those close to you
Find positive reasons to change (to be proud, to be fit...). If your motivation is driven by fear or culpability, unconsciously you get ready to fail.
Pinpoint your goal
One goal can hide another one! Sometimes we can take the wrong goal (one of my client wanted to be rich and successful and after a couple of sessions he realized he wanted to be an entrepreneur to contribute to the world by creating some jobs - see the difference!)
A specific and measurable goal (you need to know what you want to achieve and when).
The goal has to be completely controlled by you (from the beginning to the end, you control all the steps).
Again, the goal needs to be achievable. Be careful with goals like "I will never eat chocolate again" or "I will run 10 miles per day"!
Apply a method that already worked for you
A study showed that people who visualize the goal, possible impediments and ways to overcome them, are more likely to achieve their goals than people who avoid negative thoughts.
Replace inadequate habits by good habits
"We remove only what we replace".
Set up a new habit (to eat a fruit when you are tired for example).
Set up a trigger (put a bowl of fruit in a visible place)
Be mindful of the pleasure you have for the new habit (you enjoy eating that fruit)
Be patient! A study in England showed that we need an average of 66 days to change an habit.
Replace inadequate habits by good habits
If you focus too much on one thing you will exaggerate it! It's ok to give in sometimes! because get into better habits doesn't mean all or none. You have to think in terms of a "global change approach"! Understand that your "bad" habit is linked to other habits. You might have to change other habits as well. Eat more fruits and go to the gym for example.